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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Shared recently on Slack:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Going viral on Threads:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Just shared via Twitch:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Making waves on Telegram:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Just shared via Discord:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Just shared via Slack:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

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Funny probation officer quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My parents think they know me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Trending via Instagram:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Spotted on Discord:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Making waves on Slack:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

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