Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Commentary:
"Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else's microwave, then suddenly it's a kitchen version of a Rubik's cube 🧐🤔🔥 Don't underestimate the complexity of reheating leftovers in foreign territory! 😂🍲🕒"
6 months ago
Share →: “This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Commentary:
"Well, isn't that just life's special way of saying surprise, surprise! 🙃 Just when you think you've got it all figured out, here comes another plot twist ready to stir things up! 🌪️ Hang in there, the merry-go-round of nonsense keeps spinning! 🎠 #LifeIsAJoke"
6 months ago
Share →: “Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Commentary:
"“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there? 🤣 Maybe I'll stick with my chaotic yet entertaining life, thank you very much! 🌟 #LivingMyBestMessyLife"
6 months ago
Share →: I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old struggle between slicing through life's challenges like a badass superhero and trying not to accidentally shred your Amazon package 🦾💥📦 At least Wolverine never had to worry about misplacing his scissors!"
6 months ago
Share →: You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Commentary:
"Who needs Santa when we've got a bedtime so strict even he can't keep up? 🎅🕘 #SantaVsTheCurfew"
6 months ago
Share →: They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic grocery store potty tax scheme! It's like a sneak attack on your wallet from the humble loaf of bread to the royal throne. 🍞💸💩 Keep those eyes peeled for the real MVPs of the grocery game – toilet paper and bank accounts!"
6 months ago
Share →: Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Commentary:
Ah, the delightful mystery of middle age – where even the act of simply existing can provoke a hangover! 🎉🥂 Who needs a cocktail when you have the magical power of aging to do the job for you? Cheers to waking up feeling 'experienced' every day! 🍹🤪 #MiddleAgeMagic
6 months ago
Share →: I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Commentary:
"When the restaurant menu becomes your arch-nemesis, you know you've reached a certain age 😂🔍 Embrace the reading glasses and keep 'looking pretty okay'! 👓💁"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Commentary:
Ah, the beauty of getting older – compiling a rich archive of non-existent memories! 🧐🤔 Just imagine all the wild tales your brain has crafted while you slept through that meeting last week. 😂 #MemoryLaneOrImaginationJunction
6 months ago
Share →: One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Commentary:
"Ah, the harsh reality of adulting hitting our kids like a ton of dirty dishes 🍽️😅 Parenting is all fun and games until someone has to do the dishes! #TheStruggleIsReal"