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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Going viral on Threads:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Going viral on Slack:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Spotted on YouTube:

Avocado is just green butter.

Trending via Reddit:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Trending via Messenger:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

if you think i’m rude, you should hear the lil voice in my head.

Just shared via YouTube:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Just shared via Twitch:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

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Funny registry quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Just landed via Telegram:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Just shared via YouTube:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Shared recently on Discord:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Live now on Reddit:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Trending via Slack:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Just shared via Twitch:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Seen just now on Threads:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

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