Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Spotted on Telegram:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Breaking via Instagram:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Live now on Messenger:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Just shared via X:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Funny rent increase quotes

New funny rent increase quotes 👇

All funny rent increase quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

15 shares on Threads this month:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Spotted on Reddit:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Seen just now on Discord:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Spotted on Facebook:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Spotted on X:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Breaking via Threads:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Just shared via Twitch:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

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