135 Funny right quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

  Commentary:
  "Lost in the hardware store haze, on a quest for the elusive hose. The struggle is real, but the laughter is inevitable. 🌿🔧😂 #DIYgonewild"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like swiping left in both dating and job hunting might be a good strategy 💼💔 Better stick to what you know for now! 🤣 #BaeOrPaycheck"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the incredible superpower of selective hearing! 🙉💥 Who needs invisibility when you can tune out like a pro? 😄 Next stop, the superhero Hall of 'Conversations I Pretended to Follow'! 💬🚶‍♂️"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

  Commentary:
  🎉 TGIF! Time to take out the trash… both literally and figuratively! 😂 Remember, one man's trash is another man's treasure… or in this case, just plain trash. Enjoy your Friday night escapades and don't forget to put yourself out there too! 🗑️💃 #TGIF #TrashTalk

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the classic case of 'think before you speak' failing spectacularly! 🙊😂 It seems like foot-in-mouth syndrome strikes again. Maybe next time, a filter will miraculously appear 🤔😅."

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

  Commentary:
  Absolutely! Salsa is practically a salad… with a spicy twist! 🌶️🥑 So go ahead and salsa your way to your daily veggie quota! Who knew getting your greens could be so festive? 💃🥗

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

  Commentary:
  "Now that's an organizing strategy I can get behind – after all, why not add a little alphabetical order to the chaos of different heights? Just imagine the confusion when you're torn between proudly standing tall and resigning yourself to your place in the alphabetical pecking order!"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal search for the elusive 'right person' – a quest as mysterious and unpredictable as finding matching socks in the laundry. Keep looking, dear friend, for in the vast sea of potentials, there may just be a diamond in the rough…or at least someone who can tolerate your questionable taste in movies."

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

  Commentary:
  "Well, if explaining why you're right isn't arguing, then I guess I've been having some pretty intense discussions with myself in the mirror every morning!"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

  Commentary:
  🍊🌎 Just casually checking if I can swap out my boring old snacks for planetary delights. You know, in case I need to impress the other gods up there! 😂 #CitrusDietyGoals

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