259 funny right quotes - Page 5 - Wordgag

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

May 24, 2026

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

May 24, 2026

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

May 24, 2026

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

May 24, 2026

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

May 24, 2026

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

May 24, 2026

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

May 24, 2026

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

May 23, 2026

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

May 23, 2026

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

May 23, 2026

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

May 23, 2026

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

May 23, 2026

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

May 23, 2026

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

May 23, 2026May 23, 2026

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

May 23, 2026

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

May 23, 2026

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

May 23, 2026

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

May 23, 2026May 23, 2026

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

May 23, 2026

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

May 23, 2026

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

May 23, 2026

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

May 23, 2026

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

May 23, 2026

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

May 23, 2026

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

May 23, 2026

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

May 23, 2026

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

May 22, 2026

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

May 22, 2026

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

May 22, 2026

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

May 22, 2026

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

May 22, 2026

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

May 22, 2026

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

May 22, 2026

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

May 22, 2026

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

May 22, 2026

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

May 22, 2026

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

May 22, 2026

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

May 22, 2026

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

May 22, 2026

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

May 22, 2026