Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Spotted on Instagram:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Making waves on YouTube:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Making waves on Messenger:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Just shared via TikTok:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Just landed via Reddit:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Funny Salma Hayek quotes

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All funny Salma Hayek quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Threads this month:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

71 shares on X this month:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Living la vida taco!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Shared recently on X:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Making waves on Slack:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Going viral on Discord:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Going bananas on X:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

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