Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,506

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Trending via Discord:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Seen just now on X:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Just landed via TikTok:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Going viral on Reddit:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Funny salmon quotes

New funny salmon quotes 👇

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

1 week ago

always, commitment, commitment issue, dating, distant, emotionally, emotionally distant, eye, fish, got, humor, issue, issues, people, relationship, salmon, say, sea, specific

All funny salmon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Instagram this month:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

16 shares on Threads this month:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

98 shares on X this month:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

39 shares on X this month:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Spotted on Threads:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Spotted on WeChat:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Trending via Snapchat:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Making waves on YouTube:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny salmon quotes

New funny salmon quotes 👇

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

All funny salmon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨