Commentary:
"Who needs a DeLorean when you can just quantum leap into a new body, right? 🚗🕰️ Tripping over your own feet: the ultimate transportation method! 😂 #QuantumLeapGoals"

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”
Commentary:
"Oh, oh! Even God had to hit the rewind button on that one! 👀🙈🤭 #CaughtInTheAct #DivineIntervention"

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.
Commentary:
"Who knew cauliflower could be so controversial? 🤔🍪 Report them for crimes against cookies! 😂 #CauliflowerGate"
Commentary:
Looks like someone is on a quest for the elusive 11th commandment: "Thou shalt write in ALL the books!" 📚🤓 Maybe he's expecting a bonus chapter hidden in the scribbles!

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.
Commentary:
🌋 Sorry I missed your call! 🔥 I saw your name popping up and thought, "Better make a sacrifice to the volcano gods!" 📵 Hope my phone call to Mother Nature was worth it! 🤣 #VolcanoLife
Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons 🍋, sometimes all you can do is make a dramatic exit like Caesar! 🚶♂️💨 #DisappointedButDramatic"
Commentary:
"Wow, that's one chilly situation! ❄️🚶♂️ Must be tough for gangsters to keep it cool when they're freezing their pants off! 😂"

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.
Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the joys of trying to explain city life to parents! 🌆🗽 It's like a marathon of geography lessons every time they see something on TV and assume it's happening right next to you. 🏃♂️🗺️ Hang in there, Mom, New York may be big but my street isn't THAT happening! 😂🌃