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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,508

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Live now on TikTok:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Trending via YouTube:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Going viral on Slack:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Just landed via Slack:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Going bananas on Reddit:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

16 Funny skin quotes

Funny skin quotes bring a playful perspective to our largest organ! 😂👀 Whether it’s poking fun at skincare routines or humorous takes on our skin’s quirks, these quotes are sure to tickle your funny bone. Embrace the humor and enjoy a laugh about the everyday adventures of our skin! 💁‍♀️🤣

New funny skin quotes 👇

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

0

4 days ago

cataclysmic, cataclysmic event, event, events, finger, fingers, humor, skin
The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

0

2 weeks ago

actually, being, concept, contradiction, discomfort, disgusting, feeling, good, hair, hot, hot water, hygiene, irony, shower, showers, skin, water
My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

0

3 weeks ago

conflict, control, country, exaggeration, fight, fighting, humor, joke, much, oil, over, skin
The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

0

2 months ago

acne, body, emotion, enjoy, health, here, human, human body, humor, incredible, oh, sad, sadness, skin, stress
Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

0

2 months ago

everyone, gender, humor, men, nice, self-care, skin, stress
I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

0

2 months ago

disease, humor, i, irony, joke, perfect, self-confidence, skin, skin disease
Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

0

2 months ago

care, doing, humor, irony, routine, self, self-care, skin, skin care
I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

0

2 months ago

doing, drinking, dry, Dry January, humor, January, just, lips, self-care, skin
I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

0

2 months ago

grow, growth, humor, i, need, needs, perspective, resilience, skin, thick, thick skin, thorns, world
Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

0

2 months ago

clothing, colour, fashion, humor, illegal, joke, leggings, should, skin, skin colour, style

For even more funny skin quotes, hit next 👇

All funny skin quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Threads this month:

Coffee is just goth water.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

56 shares on Messenger this month:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

22 shares on Discord this month:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,437

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Shared recently on Messenger:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Trending via YouTube:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Going viral on Slack:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

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