Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Netflix & by yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,368

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Just landed via YouTube:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Trending via Slack:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Just landed via Instagram:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Funny slow and furious quotes

New funny slow and furious quotes 👇

All funny slow and furious quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

98 shares on X this month:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

41 shares on X this month:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

64 shares on Threads this month:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Going viral on X:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Breaking via TikTok:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Spotted on YouTube:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Live now on YouTube:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Spotted on Facebook:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Just landed via Telegram:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Making waves on TikTok:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

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