282 Funny social media quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this account has some serious commitment issues – can't decide if it wants to be an Airbnb or a social media star! Just make sure to leave a good review if you crash here for the night."

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

  Commentary:
  Looks like those three people have secured their spots in the will by diligently hitting that "like" button! Who knew that social media engagement could have such high stakes? Better keep an eye on those notifications, you never know when your inheritance might be at stake!

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

  Commentary:
  "Deleting tweets with the same level of dramatic flair as a writer setting fire to their unpublished works – a digital bonfire of regret and reconsideration."

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the joys of sharing our embarrassing tales from the pre-social media era! 🚲😅 Who needs instant updates when you have timeless stories of bike crashes and knee injuries to share decades later? 🕰️🤕 #ThrowbackThursday #VintageMishaps"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

  Commentary:
  Oh, Twitter – the land of hot takes and questionable decisions! 🐦🔥 It's like a chaotic party where the only rule is "tweet now, think later." 🎉🤔 Who knew 280 characters could cause so much trouble? 😂 Just remember, sometimes it's best to have a chaperone in the form of common sense! 🤓🚨 #TweetResponsibly

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

  Commentary:
  "Twitter: Where you can have deep conversations with yourself and occasionally get interrupted by strangers 🐦🗣️ #TalkingToMyself #TwitterLife"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

  Commentary:
  Well, if we're on Twitter like Jesus, does that mean we're spreading the digital version of salvation in 280 characters or less? 🙏📱 Just think of retweets as miracles and hashtags as blessings! 😄 #TwitterJesus #DigitalDiscipleship

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the infamous hour-long Twitter scroll – the digital equivalent of falling down a rabbit hole 🐇. Just remember, the only way is up! See you guys tomorrow for another round of social media shenanigans 📱😅."

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

  Commentary:
  "Preparing for Valentine's Day like: 🤣💔 Tag yourself as the ultimate Valentine's Day meme! 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️ #WhatAboutUs #ValentinesDay"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the internet – where keyboard warriors transform into motivational speakers, spreading positivity with the same passion they reserve for trolling. 😂🌈 Let's just hope they find some inspiration themselves amidst all that hate! #KeyboardWarriorsTurnedGurus 🙌

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