Commentary:
Guess I should learn from animals and stop letting my GPS guide me into never-ending loops! 🐾🗺️😅
23 Funny ones quotes
You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.
Commentary:
When you level up from Fisher-Price to Edward Scissorhands! ✂️😂✂️
Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.
Commentary:
Same old mistakes: the comfort food of life! 🍕😂🔁
My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.
Commentary:
Sounds like a solid calorie reduction strategy! Now where can I get these self-dropping chips? 😂🍟🧹
How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?
Commentary:
🤣 Seems like marriage comes with a "requires assistance" label! 💍🔧
Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.
Commentary:
Sounds like a hairy situation! I'm firmly in the procrastinate-until-someone-complains camp! ✂️🤣👨🦱
Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.
Commentary:
"Seems like we've all been reading the relationship handbook upside down 😂🤦♀️📚"
If every lesbian is into older women, who’s gonna like the younger ones?
Commentary:
Sounds like a classic case of the chicken or the egg, but for love! 🐔💕👩❤️👩
I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.
Commentary:
Guess it's time to develop my inner purring skills to get some smiles 😂🐾
If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.
Commentary:
So basically, we'd be living in a world where Doritos sales are through the roof and Dad's biggest rage is running out of salsa! 🌿😋🎉