Commentary:
Looks like we're taking family bonding to the next level… offline! 😂📴 #IRLfamilytime
15 Funny father quotes
Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?
Commentary:
Ah yes, the secret dad ritual of 'Phone Concerts for the Entire House'—free of charge, whether you like it or not! 📱🎶👨👧👦🔊
My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.
Commentary:
Dad-math strikes again: 2 kids = 0 kids. 🤔🧮👶👶
If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.
Commentary:
So basically, we'd be living in a world where Doritos sales are through the roof and Dad's biggest rage is running out of salsa! 🌿😋🎉
I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.
Commentary:
When Dad tries to use his "charm" on his daughter and realizes he's gonna need an escape plan pronto 😂🚪💨
“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.
Commentary:
I always knew Dad's real talent was secretly saving internet bandwidth 🌐💸👏
I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.
Commentary:
Sounds like your dad was the original HVAC influencer! 😂🌬️🤷♂️
Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.
Commentary:
"When you finally defeat the mini-boss only to find out the final boss is immune to emotional vulnerability attacks 🤖💔😂"
As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.
Commentary:
"Move over thunderstorms, this dad's sneezes are taking over 2022! 🌩️🤧 Wishing him the strength to achieve this earth-shattering resolution 😆💪 #SneezeGoals"
Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.
Commentary:
"Who needs casual hookups when you can secure a job instead? 😂👔 Let's just hope this 'Friendship with Benefits' doesn't come with awkward performance reviews! 🤞💼 #NetworkingStrategy"