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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I am half agony, half hope.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

60 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Going viral on Reddit:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Live now on Messenger:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Trending via X:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Just landed via Reddit:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

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Funny store employee quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

60 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Live now on Twitch:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Making waves on Pinterest:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Shared recently on Discord:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Just shared via Messenger:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Just shared via X:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

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