Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Being a reader means voluntarily signing up for fictional heartbreak, and then recommending the pain to others.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Going viral on Messenger:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Shared recently on X:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Spotted on X:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Trending via Discord:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Just shared via Discord:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

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All funny thicc quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Threads this month:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

76 shares on Discord this month:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

34 shares on Messenger this month:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Just landed via TikTok:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Broadcasted on X:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Spotted on Instagram:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Spotted on TikTok:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Trending via YouTube:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

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