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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Making waves on Threads:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Just shared via Slack:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Live now on Facebook:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Spotted on Twitch:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Just landed via Telegram:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Just shared via Threads:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Funny tots quotes

New funny tots quotes 👇

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

2 weeks ago

compliment, humor, joke, nice, potato, pun, shame, someone, tater, tots, wordplay

All funny tots quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

47 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Trending via WeChat:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Going bananas on Slack:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Going viral on Reddit:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Shared recently on Threads:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Trending via Telegram:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Going viral on Telegram:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Freshly posted on Slack:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Just landed via Messenger:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

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Funny tots quotes

New funny tots quotes 👇

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

All funny tots quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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