55 Funny Twitter quotes

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like Twitter's new slogan should be "Bark less, read more!" 📰🐶

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

  Commentary:
  "Pancakes are the only acceptable breakfast discourse! 🥞😂 But seriously, where's the waffle outrage committee when you need 'em? 🤷‍♂️ #BreakfastDebates"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

  Commentary:
  "Feels like we're all taking advice from a bunch of caffeinated squirrels! 🐿️🤪 #TwitterTherapy"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

  Commentary:
  "Finally, a place where questionable advice meets relatable chaos! 🐦😂 #AdultingTogether"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently, my superpower is knowing everyone's shower thoughts! 🦸‍♂️🛀📱 #TweetWhisperer"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

  Commentary:
  Haha, Twitter’s like that one friend who never stops monologuing at the party 😂🖤🗣️

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

  Commentary:
  Guess I better bring my own snacks and patience! 🍿🤪💻 #FamilyDrama

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

  Commentary:
  🤓 "Ah, the classic 'putting intelligent in bio' move on Twitter! Because nothing says 'I'm smart' quite like a bio update, right? 😂 Remember folks, actions speak louder than words – even in the bio section! 🐦 #SmartBioFail"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

  Commentary:
  "Twitter: where you can have a full-blown conversation with yourself and suddenly find a whole cheer squad of random strangers joining in 🤪👏 #EchoChamber"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, Malcolm Twitter – bringing social justice one tweet at a time! Who knew a name change could lead to such a revolutionary transformation?"

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