53 Funny Twitter quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

  Commentary:
  "Feels like we're all taking advice from a bunch of caffeinated squirrels! 🐿️🤪 #TwitterTherapy"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

  Commentary:
  "Finally, a place where questionable advice meets relatable chaos! 🐦😂 #AdultingTogether"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently, my superpower is knowing everyone's shower thoughts! 🦸‍♂️🛀📱 #TweetWhisperer"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

  Commentary:
  Haha, Twitter’s like that one friend who never stops monologuing at the party 😂🖤🗣️

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

  Commentary:
  Guess I better bring my own snacks and patience! 🍿🤪💻 #FamilyDrama

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

  Commentary:
  🤓 "Ah, the classic 'putting intelligent in bio' move on Twitter! Because nothing says 'I'm smart' quite like a bio update, right? 😂 Remember folks, actions speak louder than words – even in the bio section! 🐦 #SmartBioFail"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

  Commentary:
  "Twitter: where you can have a full-blown conversation with yourself and suddenly find a whole cheer squad of random strangers joining in 🤪👏 #EchoChamber"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, Malcolm Twitter – bringing social justice one tweet at a time! Who knew a name change could lead to such a revolutionary transformation?"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic bedtime routine of the modern multitasker – a quick check of all social media platforms, with just a dash of binge-watching thrown in for good measure. Who needs sleep when you can catch up on the latest posts and episodes, right? Just remember, Netflix has a way of turning "one more episode" into a full-on nocturnal adventure! Sweet dreams and happy scrolling!

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

  Commentary:
  Wow, Twitter should come with a warning label: "Caution! May result in unintentional exercise from vigorous head shaking 🤯💪😂 #TwitterWorkout"

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