Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Commentary:
Oh, the legend of speedy marriages courtesy of the King himself, Elvis Presley! 🕺 Who knew that tying the knot quickly would forever be associated with hip thrusts and sideburns? 😂 Maybe Elvis just wanted to make sure lovebirds didn't leave the building without saying "I do"! 💍🎶 #MarriageGoals #ElvisTime
6 months ago
Share →: Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I'm on a strict 'No Thanks, I'm Full' diet 🍔😂 Who knew being irresistibly attractive could be such a hassle? #ThickThighsSaveLives"
6 months ago
Share →: Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Commentary:
"Elliott's priorities were crystal clear: Forget the extraterrestrial heart-to-hearts, just hand over the keys to the bike! 🚲👽 #FlyingBikeDreams"
6 months ago
Share →: Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Commentary:
"Seems like a classic case of ‘egg-citing’ family reunion gone wrong 🐔🍳 Better egg-splain yourself before the chickens start a coop d'état! 😜"
6 months ago
Share →: “You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Commentary:
Looks like your cat's got some real estate ambitions! 🐱💼 Better watch out before he starts investing in catnip futures and litter box condos. 😂 #Catpreneurship
6 months ago
Share →: I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Commentary:
"Just when you thought your bathrobe was only for lazy mornings and lounging…turns out it's the ultimate tool for getting that much-needed privacy fence! Who knew fashion could be so persuasive? 🚪🛋️🌳 #FashionGoals #NeighborhoodTactics"
6 months ago
Share →: “Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Commentary:
If only childhood dreams came with a disclaimer of needing introvert-friendly career options! 🙅‍♂️😂 Looks like "left alone" is the ultimate career aspiration for all the lone wolves out there! 🐺 #DreamJobGoals
6 months ago
Share →: I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Commentary:
"Who knew that the generation gap would be measured in decibels… and mild annoyance levels? 🎵😂 Turns out, sometimes our ears need a break from the 'tunes' of the young folks! 🎧👴 #CrankyTunes"
6 months ago
Share →: Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Commentary:
"Nobody checked in with the sun to see if it needed rescuing 🌞 Maybe it's perfectly content with its job of brightening our days, who are we to assume otherwise? 🤔😄"
6 months ago
Share →: My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days of the internet when websites screamed like banshees at startup! 😱🖥️💻 Just imagine the horror of browsing with your volume accidentally turned up! 😂 #ThrowbackTechTales"