39 Funny wedding quotes

• When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

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  1 month ago

  camera, camera zoom, commentary, contact, episode, eye, eye contact, humor, i, marriage, married, office, side, style, The Office, video, video style, want, wedding, wedding video, Zoom

• Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

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  1 month ago

  breakup, divorce, free, humor, joke, level, library, little, putting, relationship, scrapbook, unprecedented, wedding

• Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

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  1 month ago

  50, divorce, end, fact, humor, i, joke, marriage, married, only, relationship, satire, wedding, why

• Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

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  1 month ago

  bezos, contrast, cup, fly, humor, i, jeff, Jeff Bezos, jet, jets, lid, lids, luxury, private, private jet, recycling, Venice, wedding, yoghurt, yoghurt lid

• Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

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  1 month ago

  date, groom, humor, humor quote, invitation, joke, me, social, wedding

• That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

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  1 month ago

  all eyes, awkward, awkward moment, bride, eyes, family, groom, humor, moment, son, wedding

• The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

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  1 month ago

  activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, marriage, reason, relationship, trend, wedding

• Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

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  1 month ago

  bar, everyone, expectation, humor, irony, line, love, open, open bar, patient, relationship, wedding

• A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

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  1 month ago

  activity, bride, fun, fun activity, groom, guest, humor, interaction, joke, prank, social, social interaction, wedding, whisper

• Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

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  1 month ago

  afford, commitment, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, i, making, me, money, panic, relationship, right, stop, wedding

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