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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Making waves on Instagram:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Just landed via Twitch:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Spotted on Discord:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Trending via Telegram:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Making waves on Reddit:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Spotted on WeChat:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Live now on TikTok:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Seen just now on X:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Just landed via Threads:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Just landed via TikTok:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Spotted on Telegram:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

These aliens are taking forever.

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