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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,524

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Going viral on Messenger:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Spotted on Instagram:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Live now on X:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Making waves on Instagram:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Trending via Discord:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Seen just now on Threads:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Just shared via Instagram:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Funny writing process quotes

New funny writing process quotes 👇

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

4 weeks ago

absolutely, being, confusion, creativity, ending, exactly, having, humor, idea, knowing, means, process, story, writer, writing, writing process

All funny writing process quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on WeChat this month:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

86 shares on Slack this month:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Seen just now on Slack:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Making waves on Instagram:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Going bananas on Threads:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Just shared via Reddit:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny writing process quotes

New funny writing process quotes 👇

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

All funny writing process quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨