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Commentary:
"Girls just want one teeny-tiny thing from you – all your attention 🙇‍♂️👀! Well, it's not like they are asking for much, right? Just your undivided time, energy, and focus – easy peasy! 😅 #GirlPower 💁‍♀️"

attention, desire, girls, humor, only, relationship, simple, thing, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

1 month ago
both, connection, humor, i, insane, online, relationship, think, web, work
The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

1 month ago
activity, best, bottle, candy, empty, fun, fun activity, humor, line, mouth, playful, prescription, prescription bottle, shaking, Smarty, waiting
I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

1 month ago
apology, bad, batshit, batshit crazy, call, confidence, crazy, humor, me, perception, self-acceptance, sorry, sound, thing, think, uniqueness
I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

1 month ago
alarm, Christmas, countdown, day, days, holiday, humor, i, left, management, procrastination, shopping, shopping day, time, time management, want
Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

2 months ago
annoyance, communication, conversation, humor, interrupt, interruption, middle, oh, sarcasm, sentence, sorry, wit, yours
Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

1 month ago
30, beating, break, came, frustration, humor, lunch, management, minute, needs, time, time management, workplace

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Spotted on Facebook:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Going viral on Twitch:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Trending via Twitch:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

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Activity Log ✨

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

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Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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