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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2456 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,618

Funny Quotes Topics

15,291

Funny Quotes Images

12,618

Updated

58 seconds ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Just landed via Slack:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Live now on Instagram:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Spotted on Discord:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Spotted on Threads:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Just landed via Telegram:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐶🎄 "Watch out, there's a new posse in town! The fiercest gang around, strutting their stuff in style with matching sweaters. Who knew the key to canine camaraderie was fashion coordination? 🐾 #SquadGoals #DogsInSweaters"

Fun Fact or Trivia:
Did you know that the world's largest dog sweater is over 30 feet long? 🐶🎄 It was knitted for a massive Great Dane and showcased at a pet festival! Imagine all those pups strutting around in style! 🐕✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2456 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,618

Funny Quotes Topics

15,291

Funny Quotes Images

12,618

Updated

58 seconds ago

Users Online

3,444

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Going viral on Messenger:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Seen just now on Messenger:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Spotted on Slack:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Making waves on Threads:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Just landed via WeChat:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

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