God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

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My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

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Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

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If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

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Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

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The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

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I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

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The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

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“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

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I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

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Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.