Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"God has a plan for you!" 🙏 Oh really? Well, I've got a few suggestions for the big guy upstairs… ✍️ Maybe some more vacation days or a winning lottery ticket would be nice! 😜 #CollaborationGoals

advice, criticism, God, humor, i, life, life advice, notes, okay, plan, sarcasm, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

0

5 months ago

aging, attitude, decision, easier, exit, exit strategy, humor, i, maturity, me, older, say, situation, strategy
Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, asked, awkward, awkward moment, awkward silence, conversation, conversation fail, elevator, elevator ride, fail, failures, guy, hell, hotel, hotel elevator, humor, i, just, me, moment, ride, said, silence, small, small talk, social, social anxiety, talk, today, too, us, well
There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

0

2 months ago

advice, airplane, bored, boredom, conversation, flying, funny advice, interaction, life, next, passenger, person, reason, social, social interaction, story, storytelling, tell, time, travel
Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

3

2 months ago

computing, hardware, help, humor, joke, let, me, pun, software, tech, tech joke, technology, turn
My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

0

2 months ago

cleaning, domestic, domestic life, hire, housekeeper, humor, life, mess, refuse, refuses, relationship, want, wife
Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

0

5 months ago

another, daily, daily routine, day, God, gratitude, humor, routine, screen, screen time, technology, thank, thank you, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Just landed via X:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Just shared via WeChat:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Just shared via TikTok:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Just shared via Pinterest:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Going viral on Twitch:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Going viral on YouTube:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨