Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"God has a plan for you!" 🙏 Oh really? Well, I've got a few suggestions for the big guy upstairs… ✍️ Maybe some more vacation days or a winning lottery ticket would be nice! 😜 #CollaborationGoals

advice, criticism, God, humor, i, life, life advice, notes, okay, plan, sarcasm, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

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2 months ago

app, apps, awkward, awkward moment, confused, confusion, date, dating, dating app, deleted, going, grocery, grocery store, humor, interaction, just, life, moment, shopping, single, single life, social, social interaction, store, walk
As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

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6 days ago

dating, Funny, girlfriend, having, humor, irony, relationship, sounds, woman, women
Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

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1 month ago

bank, bank details, dating, deception, details, escape, fraud, humor, internet, internet fraud, love, needs, Nigerian, Nigerian prince, online, online dating, prince, romance, scam, soulmate, tried
I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

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1 month ago

allowed, boxing, competition, face, face punch, humor, i, joke, me, moment, opponent, punch, quit, quitting, sarcastic, sports, too
If you can stand me, you deserve me!

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2 months ago

confidence, deserve, humor, me, relationship, self-esteem, stand
Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

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2 months ago

absurdity, ban, excuse, humor, irony, me, petition, political, request, sign

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

21 shares on Threads this month:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

84 shares on Discord this month:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Going bananas on Discord:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Shared recently on Slack:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Spotted on X:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Making waves on Telegram:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Just landed via Discord:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨