Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.
  • All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.
  • When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
  • No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.
  • After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.
  • I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.