Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,317

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Trending via Messenger:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Trending via Discord:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Just landed via Reddit:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Going viral on Threads:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Just landed via WeChat:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about phone addiction and disorientation, humorously challenging screen time concerns.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🌍 "Google Maps should come with a disclaimer: 'Warning: Highly addictive. Side effects may include increased reliance on your phone and significant disorientation without it.' 📍📱 Who needs a compass when you have Google Maps to navigate through the modern maze of life?"

addicted, addiction, count, disorientation, Google, Google Maps, humor, maps, navigation, phone, phone addiction, screen, screen time, should, technology, technology humor, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

90 shares on Reddit this month:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

18 shares on Discord this month:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I like you because we hate the same people.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,762

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Shared recently on Discord:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Making waves on Twitch:

Aura is the real business card.

Shared recently on Discord:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Spotted on Reddit:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴