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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Making waves on Messenger:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Spotted on TikTok:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Trending via Slack:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Going viral on Messenger:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🌍 "Google Maps should come with a disclaimer: 'Warning: Highly addictive. Side effects may include increased reliance on your phone and significant disorientation without it.' 📍📱 Who needs a compass when you have Google Maps to navigate through the modern maze of life?"

addicted, addiction, count, disorientation, Google, Google Maps, humor, maps, navigation, phone, phone addiction, screen, screen time, should, technology, technology humor, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Discord this month:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

19 shares on Discord this month:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

This sex could have been an email.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Going viral on YouTube:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Live now on Snapchat:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Just shared via Snapchat:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Just landed via Messenger:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Trending via X:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Trending via TikTok:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Seen just now on Twitch:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

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