Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone โ€” except me, because I clearly didnโ€™t get enough sleep.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Donโ€™t these people have homes?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

I just need a day between everydayโ€ฆ to recover from the day beforeโ€ฆ just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

Iโ€™m ready to try another planet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Iโ€™m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. Itโ€™s like the other vegetables arenโ€™t even trying.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that Iโ€™ve made myself tea.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1773 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,935

Funny Quotes Topics

14,747

Funny Quotes Images

11,935

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on WeChat:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid wonโ€™t open.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Reported on Slack:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and Iโ€™m likeโ€ฆ I went shopping.

Trending via Snapchat:

My wifeโ€™s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Making waves on Instagram:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Seen just now on Threads:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Making waves on Instagram:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Seen just now on Messenger:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. Iโ€™d like that for people.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.
*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Monday mornings got you feeling like you'd rather fake your own death than face the week ahead? ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ’ป Just remember, disappearing from existence might not be the most practical solutionโ€ฆ but we totally get the impulse! Hang in there, friend. It's just another manic Monday! ๐ŸŒž"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

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Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1773 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,935

Funny Quotes Topics

14,747

Funny Quotes Images

11,935

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

Somewhere thereโ€™s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Todayโ€™s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Iโ€™m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there itโ€™s someoneโ€™s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ต has viewed:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriendโ€™s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on WeChat:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Going viral on YouTube:

If the zombie apocalypse happens weโ€™re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Spotted on Reddit:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Spotted on Threads:

Imagine hating me, and Iโ€™m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Just landed via Reddit:

A Southerner dies every time you people type โ€œyaโ€™llโ€ instead of โ€œyโ€™all,โ€ btw.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When Iโ€™m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everythingโ€ฆ it feels so goodโ€ฆ

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