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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Just landed via WeChat:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Live now on Facebook:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Just landed via Pinterest:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Trending via Facebook:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Reported on Threads:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Going viral on X:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

6 months ago

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

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Commentary:
"Monday mornings got you feeling like you'd rather fake your own death than face the week ahead? 😅💻 Just remember, disappearing from existence might not be the most practical solution… but we totally get the impulse! Hang in there, friend. It's just another manic Monday! 🌞"

dark, dark humor, death, erase, erase existence, existence, fake, fake death, Google, humor, Monday, morning, online, online search, own, procrastination, search

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Trending via WeChat:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Trending via Pinterest:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Making waves on WeChat:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Going viral on WeChat:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Live now on Facebook:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

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