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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

21 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Shared recently on Threads:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Live now on Pinterest:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Spotted on Instagram:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Just shared via Threads:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

6 months ago

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic journey of aging gracefully – from dismissing every ache and pain as "probably nothing" to realizing it's actually something after all! 🙈👴🔍 Just remember, getting older doesn't mean we have to lose our sense of humor… or our ability to accurately diagnose our own symptoms! 😂👵💬

aging, being, frequency, growing, growing old, humor, life, nothing, old, perspective, process, saying, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

21 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Reported on TikTok:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Just shared via Instagram:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Going viral on Instagram:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Just shared via Telegram:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Seen just now on Discord:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Going viral on Facebook:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

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