Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet lullaby of solitude 🎵🌙 Just you and your amazing singing skills, serenading yourself to sleep! Who needs a choir when you've got your solo performance going on? 😄🎤"

comfort, having, humor, loneliness, realization, realize, room, sing, singing, sleep, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

0

5 months ago

back, being, break, break up, cool, cool stuff, date, dating, humor, i, lame, lingo, relationship, shit, slang, stuff, taught
Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

ahead, attitude, big, cheeky, day, got, humor, middle, morning, motivation, sarcasm, sarcasm humor, sleep, tomorrow, well
You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

0

2 months ago

always, both, kids, know, scissors, where
Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

0

2 months ago

comparison, errors, haystack, humor, life, longer, modern, modern life, needle, people, search, spreadsheet, technology, work
Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

0

2 months ago

call, dating, humor, i, me, money, much, poor, self-esteem, ugly, wealth, women
My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

0

2 months ago

asked, communication, friends, humor, i, relationship, sarcasm, so-called, social, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Telegram this month:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

66 shares on X this month:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Just shared via Twitch:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Trending via Facebook:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Trending via Telegram:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Making waves on Twitch:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Live now on Instagram:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨