Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Breaking via Facebook:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Just shared via Telegram:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Going viral on Instagram:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

1 month ago

Playful quote suggesting kindness over leadership, with a humorous, lighthearted vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤔🌟 How about we skip the whole election hoopla and simply vow to behave ourselves? 🇺🇸 Who needs a president when we've got our impeccable behavior to lead the way? 😜👏 Let's all strive for that "Student of the Month" vibe in this national experiment! #GoodCitizenshipGoals

another, election, good, hear, humor, idea, just, me, president, promise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Slack this month:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

88 shares on X this month:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

11 shares on Slack this month:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

37 shares on Slack this month:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

100 shares on Slack this month:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

63 shares on Slack this month:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Breaking via Threads:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Shared recently on Twitch:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Live now on Discord:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Spotted on WeChat:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Seen just now on Instagram:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

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