Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.