Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, the horror! 👀 Sounds like a true emergency situation! 🚨 Who knew meeting the neighbors could be an extreme sport? 🏃‍♂️💨 Hang in there, sir, help is on the way! 🚓😄"

911, forced, funny situation, hello, humor, me, meet, meeting, neighbors, over, situation, walk, wife, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Discord this month:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Spotted on Twitch:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Trending via Discord:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Just landed via TikTok:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Trending via Slack:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨