Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Hey boy, are you my washing machine? 🧺⏰ Because just like it, you seem to have absolutely no concept of how long 10 minutes last! 😆⏳"

boy, date, funny pick-up line, humor, know, last, line, machine, minutes, pick-up, relationship, time, washing, washing machine

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16 shares on X this month:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

74 shares on Discord this month:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

33 shares on Reddit this month:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

93 shares on Slack this month:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Breaking via Reddit:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Live now on Facebook:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Going viral on Discord:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Trending via TikTok:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Just shared via Discord:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨