Trendy Funny Quotes

  • “Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.
  • I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.
  • I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.
  • If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.
  • I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.
  • I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.