Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.
  • If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.
  • There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.
  • “Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.
  • Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.
  • Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.