Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.
  • Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
  • If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.
  • Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.
  • She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.
  • I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.