Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when ignorance was bliss! 🙈 Who needs internet trolls when you can have peace of mind instead? 😂 Let's cherish the memories of simpler times! 🌟

always, before, cruelty, good, humanity, i, ignorance, internet, know, life, life before internet, memory, nostalgia, remember, stupid, stupidity, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

0

5 months ago

advice, cool, disappointment, expectation, humor, interaction, people, personality, recipe, social, social interaction, stop
If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

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2 months ago

attempt, failure, humor, persistence, significant, statistically, statistically significant, success, times, try
Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

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2 months ago

career, career change, change, humor, job, laziness, not working, passion, quitting, true, working
I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

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4 weeks ago

birth, date, date of birth, exactly, health, hear, humor, i, information, just, lack, line, love, me, name, personal, personal information, pharmacy, pharmacy line, privacy, public, shouting, standing, world, wrong
Life is weird and then you die.

0

2 months ago

die, existential, humor, irony, life, reality, weird
Killing me softly with his schlong.

0

2 months ago

humor, innuendo, joke, killing, laughter, me, relationship, schlong, softly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Going bananas on X:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Making waves on WeChat:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Breaking via Telegram:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Going viral on Threads:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Just landed via Telegram:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Life is weird and then you die.

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨