Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like it's time for a shelf makeover! 🛠️ Don't worry, you're not expired, just a vintage classic ready for a little TLC. 💤 #TimeForANap"

am, exhaustion, expired, humor, i, life, shelf, shelf life, think, tired, today, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

0

2 months ago

chores, clean, clean house, cleaning, conflict, house, laziness, motivation, move, procrastination, relax, struggle, Sunday, wanting
The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

0

2 months ago

app, apps, date, dating, humor, i, interaction, irony, love, modern, modern love, problem, relationship, social, social interaction, someone
In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, early, fresh, humor, i, morning, motivation, parallel, parallel universe, sleep, universe, unstoppable, wake, wake up
Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

0

2 months ago

athlete, athletes, blame, credit, God, humor, irony, lose, sports, talent, win
Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

0

2 months ago

Cheeto, contrast, crumbs, humor, lady, lifestyle, sheets, snack, streets
It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

0

2 months ago

after, awkward, awkward moment, back, comeback, failure, five, funny situation, hard, high, high five, humor, interaction, moment, poorly, situation, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

44 shares on Threads this month:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Spotted on WeChat:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨