Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Just shared via TikTok:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Just landed via WeChat:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Live now on YouTube:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Going bananas on Instagram:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Just shared via TikTok:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Making waves on Threads:

Half princess, half menace.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Humorous text about feeling exhausted and expired, with a witty shelf life joke.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like it's time for a shelf makeover! 🛠️ Don't worry, you're not expired, just a vintage classic ready for a little TLC. 💤 #TimeForANap"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

58 shares on Slack this month:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

99 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

92 shares on Discord this month:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

91 shares on Discord this month:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Spotted on Instagram:

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Live now on Slack:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Spotted on Threads:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Spotted on WeChat:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Freshly posted on X:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Making waves on Twitch:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

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