Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, that doctor really knows how to deliver a diagnosis with a punch 🥊😂 Maybe it's time to switch to a new doctor who appreciates your good humor and sense of style! 💁‍♂️💕

asked, doctor, even, health, healthy, humor, i, joke, me, sex, sexy, told

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

1 month ago

backfire, fatigue, humor, me, morning, morning struggle, relatable, sleep, struggle, times, waking, waking up
Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

1 month ago

age, delete, deletion, humor, i, media, old, post, remember, self-awareness, social, social media, sometimes, too
I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

1 month ago

figure, figure out, humor, i, just, list, procrastination, responsibility, tasks, to-do, to-do list
I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

4 weeks ago

activity, book, bored, entertainment, fun, humor, irony, leisure, read
Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

4 weeks ago

drama, fine, fire, girl, house, humor, irony, relationship
An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

4 weeks ago

adventure, cure, dragon, escapism, fantasy, fun, humor, me, whimsy

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Discord this month:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

94 shares on Threads this month:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

25 shares on Slack this month:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

80 shares on Instagram this month:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re so productive for your wage.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

This email could’ve been sex.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Life is way too short to pretend you’re not into some freaky stuff.

Making waves on Twitch:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Going viral on Facebook:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Just shared via Instagram:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Spotted on Instagram:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Just landed via Messenger:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Spotted on X:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Broadcasted on X:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨