Trendy Funny Quotes

  • In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.
  • I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.
  • My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.
  • Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.
  • I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.
  • I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.