Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.
  • Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.
  • I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.
  • When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.
  • Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.
  • Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.