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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Just landed via X:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Trending via Facebook:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Spotted on Reddit:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Trending via Messenger:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

6 days ago

Witty quote about pajamas in public, blending humor and playful life choices.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤔💭 "The eternal debate: Are public pajamas a fashion faux pas or a bold declaration of comfort supremacy? 🛌💁‍♂️ Either way, these pajama pioneers are truly keeping us on our toes… or should I say, on our slippers! 🦶👖 #PajamaParty"

comfort, decision, fashion, humor, i, irony, life, living, norms, pajamas, people, public, social, social norms

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

97 shares on X this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

30 shares on Messenger this month:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Trending via Pinterest:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Live now on Twitch:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Live now on Reddit:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Making waves on YouTube:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Just shared via Facebook:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Going bananas on Discord:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

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