Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,876

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Seen just now on X:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Just landed via Twitch:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Spotted on Reddit:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Trending via Twitch:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

1 month ago

0

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤔💭 "The eternal debate: Are public pajamas a fashion faux pas or a bold declaration of comfort supremacy? 🛌💁‍♂️ Either way, these pajama pioneers are truly keeping us on our toes… or should I say, on our slippers! 🦶👖 #PajamaParty"

comfort, decision, fashion, humor, i, irony, life, living, norms, pajamas, people, public, social, social norms

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

0

2 weeks ago

alcohol, before, blame, drinking, humor, idiot, started
Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

0

3 months ago

awesome, humor, instant, instant karma, justice, karma, witnessing
Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

0

2 months ago

am, ask, before, humor, i, kids, parenting, patience, patient, people, self-reflection, stupid, yourself
Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

0

1 month ago

dating, humor, irony, love, mate, relationship, search, seeking, soul
Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

0

2 months ago

beverage, coconut, drink, humor, mouth, opinion, someone, taste, water
Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

0

2 months ago

better, even, good, humor, later, life, think, time, today, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

40 shares on Slack this month:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

86 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

54 shares on Discord this month:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,584

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Just shared via Facebook:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Making waves on TikTok:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Going viral on Twitch:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

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