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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Going viral on Messenger:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Live now on Instagram:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Just shared via Telegram:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Shared recently on Threads:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Going bananas on X:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about pajamas in public, blending humor and playful life choices.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤔💭 "The eternal debate: Are public pajamas a fashion faux pas or a bold declaration of comfort supremacy? 🛌💁‍♂️ Either way, these pajama pioneers are truly keeping us on our toes… or should I say, on our slippers! 🦶👖 #PajamaParty"

comfort, decision, fashion, humor, i, irony, life, living, norms, pajamas, people, public, social, social norms

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

I only accept apologies in cash.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Live now on Slack:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Going viral on Messenger:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Spotted on Twitch:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

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