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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

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I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Commentary:
"Who needs the weather as an excuse when the mere thought of running is enough to make you hit the snooze button? ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐ŸŒง๏ธ #RunningAwayFromRunning"



Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

Iโ€™m only dead on the outside.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

A frightening number of young people alive today donโ€™t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

New year update: losing everything but weight.