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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Going viral on WeChat:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Just shared via Instagram:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Seen just now on X:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Going viral on Reddit:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Just shared via Discord:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Just shared via Discord:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like time traveling into the past is the only option for that second job to actually save the day! 🔮⏱️💸 #TimeIsMoneyGone"

debt, financial, financial humor, help, humor, i, job, math, me, planning, procrastination, responsibility, second, start, time, timing, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

0

2 months ago

being, brain, damage, feelings, giving, hopeless, humor, i, love, me, romantic, think
I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

0

2 months ago

going, going down, humanity, humor, i, observation, photography, pictures, sun, wonder
They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

0

1 week ago

app, experience, frustration, invent, invention, media, refresh, should, social, social media, technology, timeline, Twitter, user, user experience, where
If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, drinking, humor, imagine, impairment, intoxication, joke, memory
The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

0

2 months ago

cost, disappointment, endings, entertainment, finale, game, Game of Thrones, humor, lost, me, series, series finale, television, thrones
The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

0

2 months ago

humor, intimacy, Jaws, movie, relationship, sex, soundtrack, theme

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Slack this month:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

36 shares on Slack this month:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter is an abusement park.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Seen just now on Slack:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Freshly posted on X:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Shared recently on WeChat:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Spotted on YouTube:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Making waves on TikTok:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨