I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.