I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.