Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.
  • And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.
  • “You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.
  • I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.
  • You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.
  • Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.