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Commentary:
"Failed as a person, huh? Time to embrace your inner dinosaur 🦖! Don't worry, you're vintage, not extinct. Just remember to roar louder and stand taller. Who needs to adult when you've got prehistoric vibes? 🌿🦕 #DinoLife"

dinosaur, failure, humor, i, identity, person, self-deprecation, transformation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

0

2 months ago

artist, ask, expectation, favorite, humor, i, music, phone, play, playing, song, water
How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

0

2 months ago

corporate, corporate job, day, email, fake, fake job, home, humor, i, job, jobs, laptop, lazy, lazy work, life, office, office humor, open, outlook, paid, remote, remote work, responding, whatever, where, work, work from home, work life
Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

0

3 months ago

bigger, business, congrats, deadline, even, fired, firing, hitting, humor, missing, number, numbers, performance, pressure, q3, Q3 number, q4, Q4 number, work
Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, humor, irony, nostalgia, older, regret, sleep, young, youth
I need a massage for my brain.

0

2 months ago

brain, humor, i, massage, need, relaxation, relief, self-care, stress, stress relief
You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

0

2 months ago

bread, cooking, food, garlic, humor, just, why, wonder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

67 shares on X this month:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

94 shares on Instagram this month:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Seen just now on Slack:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Making waves on TikTok:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Freshly posted on X:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Just landed via Snapchat:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Making waves on WeChat:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

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Activity Log ✨

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

I need a massage for my brain.

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨