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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

16 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Shared recently on TikTok:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Reported on Pinterest:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Seen just now on TikTok:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

3 months ago

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

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Commentary:
Oh, the classic case of someone ad-libbing in life's script, throwing off your carefully rehearsed lines! 🎭 It's like when you're play-acting a conversation in your head, and the other person decides to improvise on you! 😂 Stay on cue, people! #LifeIsNotARehearsal

conversation, expectations, frustration, hate, humor, i, imagine, interaction, line, man, person, planning, script, social, social interaction, spontaneity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

16 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Making waves on Discord:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Spotted on Reddit:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Just shared via Facebook:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Making waves on Reddit:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Trending via Slack:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Making waves on Messenger:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

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