Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Just landed via Messenger:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Shared recently on Slack:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Just shared via Facebook:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Just landed via Telegram:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Just shared via YouTube:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

2 months ago

0

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic case of someone ad-libbing in life's script, throwing off your carefully rehearsed lines! 🎭 It's like when you're play-acting a conversation in your head, and the other person decides to improvise on you! 😂 Stay on cue, people! #LifeIsNotARehearsal

conversation, expectations, frustration, hate, humor, i, imagine, interaction, line, man, person, planning, script, social, social interaction, spontaneity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

0

2 months ago

activity, date, humor, IKEA, meltdown, place, public, public place, relationship, Swedish, word
If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

0

2 months ago

activity, arm, cost, dolphin, expense, expensive, fun, fun activity, humor, leg, me, shark, should, swimming, think, try
I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, cameltoe, date, humor, kiss, moment, relationship
Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

0

5 months ago

couple, decades, give, heal, healing, humor, long wait, patience, recovery, self-care, should, time, wait, yourself
Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

0

2 months ago

attitude, chore, daily, daily chore, dishwasher, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, sarcasm, unloading
My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

0

3 months ago

customer, customer experience, driver, experience, five, humor, me, rating, ride, silence, stars, talk, transportation, try, Uber

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

53 shares on Instagram this month:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

21 shares on Slack this month:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

50 shares on Twitch this month:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,611

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Spotted on Facebook:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Making waves on TikTok:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Making waves on X:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Trending via Twitch:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

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