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Commentary:
"Trying to explain it would be like trying to color a masterpiece with invisible crayons 🖍️. Some ideas are just too 'crayon'-crazy to bother with! 😆"

bad, bad idea, communication, crayon, creativity, frustration, humor, i, idea, patience, show

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Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

1 month ago
adolescence, again, communication, day, English, expectation, forward, humor, language, looking, parenting, speaking, teenager
Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

1 month ago
advice, advisor, budgeting, cost, enough, finance, financial, financial advisor, hiring, humor, i, money, paying, personal, personal finance, piece
There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

1 month ago
annoyance, behavior, communication, everyone, font, font size, humor, i, me, name, sarcasm, size, someone, taken, team, type, whenever, workplace
Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

5 months ago
activity, art, fun, fun activity, hangout, lost, lost art, music, music video, relaxation, smoking, smoking weed, video, videos, watching, weed
I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

2 weeks ago
brain, closing, complete, done, humor, i, load, mental, mental load, pleasure, relationship, tabs, task, wife, worry
When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

1 month ago
cook, cooking, dating, flag, good, humor, man, quality, red, red flag, relationship, three

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Just landed via Threads:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Just shared via X:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Just shared via Slack:

About to form my very first opinion.

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I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

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Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

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Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

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I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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