Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the age-old dilemma of being enslaved by a helpful AI versus being forced into manual labor. 🤖 Let's keep our fingers crossed for an AI overlord that at least pampers us with treats and belly rubs! 🐾 #PetGoals"

AI, bad, hope, i, mine, nice, pets, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

0

2 months ago

apology, bed, cute, end, flirtation, ghost, humor, i, just, levitating, night, relationship, sorry, think
Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

0

2 months ago

diary, even, going, humor, i, mad, media, post, privacy, reading, social, social media, stuff, things, Twitter
People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

0

2 months ago

actual, age, fold, here, human, humans, i, laundry, motivation, myself, over, parenting, people, promise, snack, snacks
Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

0

2 months ago

attitude, beauty, confidence, count, empowerment, energy, girls, humor, ignore, independence, mindset, positivity, pretty, self-care, self-love, sit, weird
Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

0

2 months ago

attention, attitude, confidence, entertainment, forget, give, harder, humor, motivation, never, nobody, observation, people, rivalry, sarcasm, show
Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

0

2 months ago

acceptable, dad, family, humor, i, life, never, sneeze, volume

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Telegram this month:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

66 shares on Slack this month:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

35 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Going viral on Discord:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Live now on Telegram:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Going viral on Discord:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Spotted on YouTube:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Going viral on Snapchat:

This Monday could have been an email.

Trending via YouTube:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨